Hello everyone from your friends and neighbors at Manor Lake Ellijay Assisted Living and Memory Care in Ellijay, GA.
If it hasn’t already happened, chances are it will one day: your loved one with memory loss will ask you to do something that simply isn’t possible. They may ask you to “go get my husband,” even though he passed away many years ago. Or they might say, “I’m ready to go home. Take me home,” even though they are already at home with you—or here with us.
These moments can be emotionally difficult. Today, we want to offer you some helpful things to consider when they arise.
1. Avoid Arguing About Whether They Are Already “Home”
For someone living with dementia, “home” often means more than just a physical place. It can represent a time or feeling of comfort, familiarity, or safety. They may be thinking of a childhood home, a house from many years ago, or even an idealized place that never physically existed.
Instead of correcting or reasoning with them, try to understand and validate the emotions behind their words. You might gently ask, “Tell me about your home—what did you love about it?” This can open the door to a comforting conversation that helps them feel seen and heard.
2. Reassure Them of Their Safety
If you found yourself in a strange or unfamiliar place, wouldn’t you want to go “home” too?
Let your loved one know they are safe and cared for. A gentle touch, like holding their hand or placing your hand on their arm, can be very reassuring if it feels appropriate. Words like, “You’re safe here. I’m with you,” can help soothe their anxiety.
3. Explore Whether They’re Feeling Lonely or Unhappy
Wanting to “go home” can sometimes stem from deeper emotions—fear, sadness, loneliness, or confusion.
Ask yourself: Is this happening more often when they’re alone or not receiving visitors? Are there signs they’re not adjusting well? Talk to staff members—they might notice patterns or know if something has changed in their routine or mood. Sometimes, just knowing someone is paying attention to their feelings can be a comfort.
4. Gently Redirect the Conversation
Sometimes a kind distraction can help. Keep a photo album handy—whether it’s a printed book or a gallery on your phone or tablet. Reminiscing about familiar people and places may calm their anxiety and bring joy. You might also suggest a walk, a snack, or their favorite activity.
5. Track the Timing and Triggers
If your loved one frequently asks to go home, note the time of day or circumstances when it happens. Is it around mealtime? When the environment is loud or overstimulating? Do they ask more often when it’s quiet or when fewer people are around?
Noticing patterns can help you—and the care team—better manage these moments and perhaps prevent them altogether.
At Manor Lake Assisted Living and Memory Care, we understand the challenges, emotions, and beautiful moments that come with caring for someone with memory loss. You are not alone on this journey. We’re honored to support you and your loved one every step of the way.
May strength, patience, and moments of peace and joy find you often.
Warmly,
Your Friends at Manor Lake Ellijay Assisted Living and Memory Care